Shrouded Sun has Returned!

Clerical Conundrum

A dust-ladden Cerberus, Servant of Light, was seen stumbling out of his guild hall early yesterday morning, to the shock of just about everyone around, heading South and then West to seek a drink at the Dundee Inn. He was promptly thrown out of the Mayor's office after slamming his fist down on the Mayor's Desk and demanding a Large Mug of Ale. As he lay in the street contemplating the missing Inn, he was heard to say, "Borsk sure brews a mighty NyQuil."

As it turns out, Cerberus had taken some of Borsky's Special Remedy and ended up in a comatose state for many months. He had gone back to the library and began to take notes on what monster to hunt next, when he literally fell into the text. When asked why they did not wake him, members of the CSB responded with, "I thought he was a stack a books." Or "He was asleep?" Or "Who's Cerberus?" Cerberus awoke to find himself staring at a rather unflattering picture of a Hulking Wasteland Monstrosity. Needless to say, he needed that Large Mug of Ale very badly.

After finally finding the Dundee Inn and getting himself an ale, more trouble arose. Wil the Grillkeeper came by looking for missing wages. Cerberus can now be found running around Valorn easedropping on conversation and forcing new adventurers to accept his help as usual, unless you're his Grillkeeper, in which case he has a funeral to attend.

~ Ixon Fier

Befuddled Architect Contemplates his Calling

Nero, formerly the proliferate designer and salesman of all relating to the construction of elaborate guildhalls, now spends his days selling potions bought from Pete at marked up prices to witless adventurers.

When asked why the career change, Nero simply replied, "After seeing Pete at Cerbie's with ladies on both arms and me with only a Grom for company, I decided that Potion Guys get all the women."

~ Cerberus

Ben's Wrath Hath no End

Ixon Fier the sly, proposed son of a Newt and swindler of the downtrodden, proceeded to purchase a rare Mercenary Sword from Lars Jarlson for a pitiful sum.

Almighty Ben, omnipotent protector of the innocent, observed the transaction and without hesitation smoted and smited the Newtboy. It began when Ixon "exploded from greed and jealousy! KABLOOOOEY!" with bits and pieces littering Dundee's Town Square and splattering upon bystanders. And, continued for a total of four deaths in the matter of a Marc, culminating with an instantaneous death by way of a gruesome Demon Centurion blow to the head.

One onlooker, Waterfall, Ixon's very own love interest, while smiling slightly, went so far as to say, "This is overkill. I tried to warn him... but still... it was funny the first two times."

After the initial shock of being covered in bits of Rogue, others in the square took care to sweep and pile body parts for Waterfall to piece together again.

~Cerberus

Ask Balthazar

Dear Balthazar, I have been putting it off, and putting it off. But now I have to choose! Which guild should I join?

~ Clueless Guildless

Dear CG, Not to toot my own horn, but you are always welcome in the Demon Hordes! How does this sound: As many adventurers as you can eat, raiding every 6 marcs, and Tuesdays and Wednesdays off! You can't get much better than that, I bet my big black heart on it.

~ Da B

Dear Balthazar, My girlfriend tells me she loves me, but she won't commit... what should I do?

~ Sorrowed Single

Dear SS, Maybe you can do what I did to snag Mrs. Balthazar, drug her MSG and convince her she's pregnant. Then, she'll have to marry you.

~ Da B