Frequently Asked Questions
- “How often does the SS come out?”
- Well... the first issue came out... then 2 weeks later the second come out... then a day later the third came out... then a year later the fourth... 2 more days for the fifth... basically... whenever Cerberus feels like it.
- “Does Balthazar really write the advice column?”
- OF COURSE HE DOES... pfft.
- “Can I be on the staff?”
- Probably not.
- “Will Balthazar answer my questions?”
- Probably not.
- “Will you do an article about me?”
- Probably not.
- “Can I submit a story?”
- Probably not.
- “What is your snack time schedule?”
- Well, depends. Sometimes we have one big snack break that lasts all day, and sometimes we like to split them up into smaller, bite-size portions.
- “Just how many snack times do you have?”
- *jelly stain on paper* How many digits are in pi?
- “Do you make up any of the news you report?”
- These are not the droids you are looking for.
- “These are not the droids we are looking for.”
- Damn, we're good. *high five*
- “How much do staffers make?”
- About as much as Ben for Worldbuilding.
- “Do you earn any money for the paper?”
- Have you seen our office?!
Well yeah... how'd you afford it?
Condemned buildings are ripe for squatting. - “Who is Alpha Betsoup?”
- Our staffed paparazzi.
- “Why is Thorin 'Dutch'?”
- Because his parents were.
- “Who is the Third Ear?”
- Have you ever wondered what was under another adventurer's helmet?
- “Will my papers be delivered on time?”
- HAHAHAHA. You are a funny funny little man. Want a job?
Really?
Probably not. - “Does Grimoire Inc. endorse your paper?”
- Well Cory enjoys them, and Ben hasn't sent us a cease and desist yet...
- “Why are there so many errors in your papers?”
- Check the name on the Editor's door.
- “What field does Venus actually report from?”
- Stalker.
- “Where's your office?”
- Stalker.
- “How did you become the first paper in Valorn?”
- Cerberus needs a life.
- “How many people does Cerberus actually employ?”
- ALL YOUR BASE BELONG TO cerberUS!
- “Why is the paper a Cerbie's Grill affiliate?”
- SOMEBODY SET UP cerberUS THE BOMB.
- “How come Cerberus has two buildings and a booth in Valorn and I don't get any?”
- *leafing through manila envelope and giggling* Admins are fickle creatures... *over shoulder* Ixon have you seen this one yet?!! HAHAHAHA
- “Why doesn't the menu at Cerberus's Grill ever change?”
- Getting a little off topic aren't we?
uhh... my bad - “What's with Wil?”
- What isn't?
- “I would like a numer 2 value meal with a large fry...”
- A F F I L I A T E: affiliate.
- “What are the benefits of being an employee?”
- Ixon: Erm...uh...benefits? Cerberus: Having a job...
